I love food too much. But it wasn't always this way. Growing up as a
kid I was a very picky eater. There are many, many foods today that I
love but thought were gross growing up. I learned once that the reason
your tastes change over the years is because of a change in your taste
buds. When you are young, your taste buds are more sensitive,
therefore foods with a more powerful flavor can be overwhelming. But
with age, your taste buds loose their sensitivity and those foods
become more enjoyable.
I remember walking through the Publix grocery store a couple of weeks ago and picking up a sample of lemon-encrusted tilapia on linquini noodles cooked in wine. I wanted to pull a coupe on the sample stand and take it over for myself. It was amazing. Lynn also makes a fabulous lemon-pepper tilapia which we enjoyed last night. I'm finding that the more flavorful a food is, the more I am enjoying it while I am becoming more and more bored with foods I used to enjoy.
This thought kind of reminds me of something we were taught in health class in high school when the lessons were about the dangers of drugs. We were taught that over time, the body builds up a tolerance to certain drugs, so stronger and stronger ones must be sought out for the same high. On the positive side, the body builds up a tolerance to beneficial drugs over time and we must use stronger and stronger ones to fight illness.
Where am I going with this?
A similar thing has been occurring with me on a spiritual level. When I first became a follower of Christ, my life exploded with new spiritual flavors, tastes, and sensations. The first few years were amazing. Nearly every time I went to church I could sense the presence of God all around me and could easily be brought into an intense time of worship. Listening to sermons or worship songs in my truck or in my home or...anywhere...would often impact me in powerful ways.
I think my spiritual taste buds are losing sensitivity. I think my heart and mind have built up a tolerance. Because those same things now leave me feeling empty, tired, and bored. It's not because I'm losing my faith. My desire for a holy invasion and occupation of my life is stronger now than ever. Yet in the context of a typical church service, I am often unmoved, unstirred, and starving for...something. I don't even listen to Christian music outside of church anymore because it all seems so...cliche.
This is the reason that I'm finding such an attraction to other streams of Christianity, like Celtic Christianity, that lead us into knowing how to experience and live in the presence of God in all of life, not just the ecclesiastical setting. I've always sensed the presence of God in more powerful ways in nature than in a sanctuary. My most spiritually powerful experiences of community have been in informal gatherings of brothers and sisters around meals and unscripted time together rather than programmed, time-restricted, scheduled small groups.
I would fit very well in a Celtic Christian setting. Unfortunately, Lynn and I would have to move to Ireland to find it. The practices and community ethos in Celtic Christian spirituality that have always resonated so deeply with me are not to be found in American church systems and structures.
Let me be clear, that what I am talking about is not about
emotionalism. I really am not interested in the manufactured, anemic
emotionalism offered by and practiced in many religious settings. I'm
interested in something much more deep, holy, mind-renewing, and
heart-transforming than mere emotionalism.
I know that many,
many people are profoundly moved into meaningful relationship with God
and others through their church services and programming. I was once
one of them. So I believe this is more an issue of what God is
doing...or is trying to do...to bring me into...something. Perhaps
others have experienced in their walk with Christ what I am
experiencing now as I approach 40 years of age in the Bible Belt of
America. If so, I'd love to hear from you.
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